Hope – How to Cope when a Loved one is Suffering

Hello World,

Accept…

It’s hard for us to accept that someone we made great memories with are suffering and passing before our eyes. Hard to accept someone who holds value in our lives will no longer be a part of it going forward. When you first hear a loved one has been diagnosed with a terminally ill disease, you just don’t know how to react. Over load of emotion takes over. One self harming thing we do is bottle our emotions and just try to deal with it. But the good thing to do is to step a side from the loved one for a bit and find a room where you can be a lone; maybe your bedroom or the washroom. Any room where it’s just you to sort out your emotions. You should just cry it out, speak it out; any thoughts you are feeling at that very moment needs be out in the open. Don’t worry if this process takes 3 hours or a day or two but this needs to happen to handle this tough situation better.

You need to step away from your loved ones for a bit, that way they don’t see you broken. If they see you broken then this effects them  very deeply. They already have the burden of sorting out their own emotions. They face a great deal of stress, fear and confusion at that time. They are pushed in a new life situation where they have to face death well before it is expected.  You need to get your emotions out so you can be a good support and make this heavy situation much lighter for your loved ones.

Love them …

I know the seriousness of the situation but you have to show them love. They can’t feel that things have changed, the love you had for them has changed in any way. You need to tell or show them how much you love them every day. Remind them of memories that you created together, maybe even take them to re-live the memory. Make them happy. You no means have to show that everything will be okay but try to minimize the negativity in the atmosphere.  You don’t have to bottle your emotions and force positivity. But try to highlight the positive. Ex: If your loved one is in the hospital lying in the bed, maybe say something like about how good they look today.

Don’t be selfish …

Maybe you know best at that time, or maybe you are trying to do everything perfectly, maybe you know how to handle the situation more than your loved ones. But remember they have a coping method as well. Their emotions and how they want to handle the situation matters more than how you would like to handle it. Whatever they say goes, they are the boss. Let them make their own decisions and stand by it. Remember, anything to make them happy!

Don’t be scared to say goodbye …

The last moments; sit very close to them, hold their hand and stroke their hair lightly, soft and gently, this will make them feel good. Don’t be afraid to say good bye. This part is the hardest. Accept, it will take time to fill a void. You will miss them, yes. But don’t worry that is what life is. Don’t hold on, best coping methods are hot showers everyday and picking up a hobby. Read a great book or place yourself in settings of new or old friends. Go for a long drive and put on music you love. Music therapy is the best way to coping with sadness. At the end,  just celebrate their lives they spent with you and remember them with a lot of happiness. Remember the joy they brought to your life and how they want to see you now. They want to see you happy, healthy and successful in your life.

When you love give it your 100% till the end,

Sincerely,

Dla

 

 

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