Story time! This story helped one of my friends struggling with the “not good enough” mindset and I have hope it does the same for you!
My friend was applying to jobs and she has been applying for awhile but, it’s just her line of work that it’s very hard to land a position. However, some of her past coworkers are very lucky and landed the same position quite easily. My friend started becoming quiet. She stopped communicating to her family because, she felt like everyone surrounding her was content and happy, however she was killing their fun by being upset.
She started comparing herself to her past coworkers who have landed the job. She started questioning why struggle, why put in so much hard work when the end result is always back to square one… struggle, pain, and the mental burden of not feeling good enough!
She shared her story with me and I realized wait a minute, I went through the same thing and heck, I still feel that way some days.
As a motivator, the simple answer is, just change your mindset. However, it’s not such a easy shift. When you are feeling those negative emotions and you are the one struggling, it’s really hard to change your perspective. You feel like you are in a routine of unhappy, you put in work, you struggle, you lose a lot of time and it’s a pattern. You are just not happy.
I shared my story with her, and it made sense to her because, I am at a better spot now – which means we are not always going to be in that mental space, things will turn out to be better. I had been in her footsteps before, I use to commute longer than two hours to get to work, there were work politics, work people would over power me, I felt stuck and stagnant, no career growth, no raise. After spending my whole day in that environment, I would come back home communiting those same long hours, having little time for myself. Not only that, one of my family members had a very serious illness for which, our home environment was always full of sadness.
I wasn’t happy at home, and outside of home. This made me go through same questions as my friend, what is the point of all this struggle? It’s all luck anyways! We are all goign to end up dead anyways!
Today, I can self analyze the situation much better! First, it wasn’t so much me, it was just a tough situation to be in. Situations I had no control over. In addition, my life had become a routine of same type of negativity and no growth. This made me stopped being optimistic. I felt there will be no growth.
Hence, the cause of this negative feeling of not good enough,
a. Not having control over the situation,
b. The same pattern and routine in your life,
c. No one is taking the time to tell you that you are actually doing a great job.
But shortly after, I changed my outlook. I changed my mindset. I told myself, if everything is luck at the end then I am going to atleast put in the struggle to acheive my goals. Yes, I might not ever be able to achieve them but at least I can tell myself I tried.
So we have to realize, everything is luck even when you put in work. Putting in work only prepares you for the event but actually getting the opportunity is luck. There might be many obstacles thrown your way, which is also luck! When that happens, you just have to own it. Being able to own all situation is basically what life is.
At a certain point, (or ever)… there will not be a lot of people encouraging you and clapping for you. That’s when you have to take the ownership to say that you will go aheand try and keep trying.
Don’t give up! Love all of you for your support!
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