Good Habit’s – Let’s start our 2017

Hello World,

What are some of your resolution this new year?

H0w are you doing so far with your resolutions? Did you end up postponing for the next day? Did you give up after first few days of trying?

Most of us have difficulty following through on our goals and taking it to completion. We plan the goal, yes that part is easy peasy, we are good at setting goals! But we don’t actually write the goal down on paper to keep track and to remind us that THIS needs to GET DONE! Some of us just give up, we have other work, we are too “Busy” or other things seem more important…I have been down that road, I know how resolution setting works. For some it comes down to my first post, Dreaming… (Where to start?)

Let’s pick up some good habit’s and let’s work on our goals today. I believe the one thing trick to keep working on our goals is consistency. People give up and quit for various reasons. We just don’t where or how to start! We didn’t do the research. Let’s get this straight, the idea of the goal seems flawless but can someone else do the research for us?! We don’t like how much over time/hard work this  goal will need. We don’t like work, we want to save time rather than waste it. Hence we don’t have time. We get distracted; our Netflix shows are better than our goals. We don’t know what’s involved. We don’t know the outcome; seems like it won’t work and we won’t get the desired results.

Why don’t we just start?

Seems like we fear the unknown and our “optimistic bias” is making us procrastinate once again. How do we get consistent and stick to our goals then? First of all let’s evaluate this goal. Let’s review the significance of this goal, in my post Simplicity – Rules to Organize, I talk about how to simplify your ideas. Let’s ask the following questions, how long will this goal matter? Can this goal be postponed? If you start to work towards this goal today, what are the outcomes and how will it benefit you? If you get this done today, would you have more time left on your hands tomorrow? The last question is very important. For example, if I automate all my banking transactions today, it saves me time for going in and paying my bills.

After we decide the significance of our goal, we start to practice and we have to practice for it every day. This is just like how a person would study for their GMAT, MCAT, LSAT or any other professional designation. We have to practice for it every day without a gap. This is a ritual, which keeps the consistency flowing. Consistency brings results. We cannot in any circumstance quit because we are not getting instant results. We have to track our progress.

Tracking is very important. Tracking motivates us. We will track our results every day till we reached the destination. The outcome will be fruitful. Let’s stop fearing what the outcome will be, because if we practice and show patience it will be worthwhile.

How can we incorporate practice towards our goals every day in our lives? We have very demanding lives, how can take out time for it? By starting slow. You don’t have to complete your goal in one day. That’s wishful thinking, won’t happen in a day! To achieve we have to put research, knowledge and hard work. Start by forecasting how much time this goal needs, we often over-estimate how much time a project needs to reach it’s completion. For example, to lose certain amount of weight or to achieve a type of body shape, we would need 30 days and we will work-out/practice 30 minutes every day to see the complete result on the 30 day mark. if you are having difficulty forecasting, then put in 15 minutes to start just on research.  Research boost confidence. We have a highly variable neuroplasticity brain, we love to learn and adapt. Knowledge will make us more confident towards our goals.

How do we keep going without losing focus?

Let’s discuss items that get in the way of our goal and serves no importance. Let’s put Social media; Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Television, PS4, Xbox etc. on the side for a bit. There is a time and place for everything but when it comes to our achievements, social media is serving us, it’s distracting us from our purpose. Our goals are our priorities.

The reason we need to practice each day is to get a bit closer to the destination every single day. But I get it, when we do something every day without variation it will eventually get boring. Then we will lose interest. This is when I stress the importance of tracking once again. We need to track to see progress. It’s a mind trick. It’s almost as if we are setting a goal every day, and we are achieving something every day; these are our short term milestones that will lead to our over all goal.

One of my new year resolution was as simple as drinking water every day to improve my over all health, skin and lifestyle. I downloaded a simple app on my phone called Lifesum. It tracks my calorie count to my every day workout. However, the thing that most interested me was the tracking of how much water I intake in a day. The tracking method is genius! It shows that I need to consume 8 glasses a day. Each time I successfully have 8 glasses and track in on the app, it gives me a thumbs up and trophy for achieving my goal. That is recognition. We need recognition to complete our every day boring goals. For example, if you are on diet/workout plan to reach a certain body type, you get one cheat day because you deserve it for your hard work.

What do we have to repeat?   

  1. Evaluate the goal – Is it significant?
  2. Set short term goals
  3. Practice towards it every day (consistency will show result)
  4. Don’t the short term goals become boring and treat yourself!

Remember practice makes perfect!

Dla

 

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Hope – How to Cope when a Loved one is Suffering

Hello World,

Accept…

It’s hard for us to accept that someone we made great memories with are suffering and passing before our eyes. Hard to accept someone who holds value in our lives will no longer be a part of it going forward. When you first hear a loved one has been diagnosed with a terminally ill disease, you just don’t know how to react. Over load of emotion takes over. One self harming thing we do is bottle our emotions and just try to deal with it. But the good thing to do is to step a side from the loved one for a bit and find a room where you can be a lone; maybe your bedroom or the washroom. Any room where it’s just you to sort out your emotions. You should just cry it out, speak it out; any thoughts you are feeling at that very moment needs be out in the open. Don’t worry if this process takes 3 hours or a day or two but this needs to happen to handle this tough situation better.

You need to step away from your loved ones for a bit, that way they don’t see you broken. If they see you broken then this effects them  very deeply. They already have the burden of sorting out their own emotions. They face a great deal of stress, fear and confusion at that time. They are pushed in a new life situation where they have to face death well before it is expected.  You need to get your emotions out so you can be a good support and make this heavy situation much lighter for your loved ones.

Love them …

I know the seriousness of the situation but you have to show them love. They can’t feel that things have changed, the love you had for them has changed in any way. You need to tell or show them how much you love them every day. Remind them of memories that you created together, maybe even take them to re-live the memory. Make them happy. You no means have to show that everything will be okay but try to minimize the negativity in the atmosphere.  You don’t have to bottle your emotions and force positivity. But try to highlight the positive. Ex: If your loved one is in the hospital lying in the bed, maybe say something like about how good they look today.

Don’t be selfish …

Maybe you know best at that time, or maybe you are trying to do everything perfectly, maybe you know how to handle the situation more than your loved ones. But remember they have a coping method as well. Their emotions and how they want to handle the situation matters more than how you would like to handle it. Whatever they say goes, they are the boss. Let them make their own decisions and stand by it. Remember, anything to make them happy!

Don’t be scared to say goodbye …

The last moments; sit very close to them, hold their hand and stroke their hair lightly, soft and gently, this will make them feel good. Don’t be afraid to say good bye. This part is the hardest. Accept, it will take time to fill a void. You will miss them, yes. But don’t worry that is what life is. Don’t hold on, best coping methods are hot showers everyday and picking up a hobby. Read a great book or place yourself in settings of new or old friends. Go for a long drive and put on music you love. Music therapy is the best way to coping with sadness. At the end,  just celebrate their lives they spent with you and remember them with a lot of happiness. Remember the joy they brought to your life and how they want to see you now. They want to see you happy, healthy and successful in your life.

When you love give it your 100% till the end,

Sincerely,

Dla

 

 

Simplicity – Rules to Organize

Hello World,

We forgot how to Live…

Human beings are very indecisive. We over-think, re-play events until that situation is over complicated and tangled in our minds. We have great ideas, we just keep adding instead of eliminating. Elimination doesn’t come to us easy. We live in a time of options and therefore we create additional problems to add to our idea/situation making t more complicated.

Why is that? Why do we put ourselves through this torture? Confusion/Complication! Why can’t we just take things slow and break things down? That seems quite simple, doesn’t it??? Well it’s not because one part of our brain is a rider (An analytical/controlled/rational side). While the other side of our brain is an elephant, (An emotional/automatic/irrational side) dreamer. The rider and the elephant work together and make our  thoughts complex. In the complexity we have a tough time reaching the result. For a result, the rider needs direction and the elephant needs motivation.

A balance in the rider side of the brain and the elephant side of the brain with clear direction and motivation can make our lives much simpler. Create a clear path, this helps us cut down noise, the extra things we don’t need to focus on.

We know the concept of time. We know that we live for a bit but then eventually we have to face our biggest fear, DEATH! Knowing that sucks! This automatically puts us on a time constraint. We take on too much in such little time frame. We want to achieve certain goals and live a certain life within our window. But if you take an animal for instance, a dog has no time constraints. A dog doesn’t have a concept of time like us. They don’t know that their time is limited. They don’t know when their birthday it is or what time it is right now this very moment. They know the things they are trained to do, taught and saw and emotions such as love. But they live for the moment! We forget to do that…live for the moment.

Don’t be a Clutter Box…

To adapt a clear simple path in our daily lives, we must break our tasks down the night before or early in the morning. The night before sleeping open your Task tracker app, Evernote, Wunderlist etc. or just simply open up a notebook and jot down the things that need to happen tomorrow. Jot everything down, even the tasks you wish to achieve. but most likely will clutter your schedule. Then organize them as priority. Out of all your tasks make sure you have 5 task that will get done the next day, as in your top priority. Make sure all tasks have a TIME on it; ex: I have work in the morning and will be done at 5:30 pm, then must go to the gym at 6:00 pm and get a 1 hour work-out; After that I need to start to work on my meal for the next day at 7:00 pm.  Don’t clutter your list and remember the process of elimination, organize in a  clear manner from high priority to low priority. If you focus o your short term goals for today then your path will get simpler. It doesn’t have to be a clutter.

Until next time,

Dla

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dreaming… (Where to start?)

Hello world,

Where to start?

Isn’t it the hardest thing to do when starting something fresh and new? Where to start?  Where to begin?… tell me if you had been in a situation where you dreamt, thought and pondered for days of starting something new, visualizing for hours to create that magic per se, but that special project just  didn’t come to life. Maybe it was a project for school or work, joining a new class for a hobby, starting a new business, or even making a trip down somewhere you have always wanted to see. The list is endless. But where to start?

We love to Dream …

We love to dream and we dream big but why do we have problems executing our dreams? Why is beginning so difficult? What are our draw backs? Is it that dreaming is easier than putting in the actual work and planning is easier than performing?

In simple words if we don’t put work towards our goals than we are procrastinating. Having goals are great but if we don’t start somewhere our goals then become wishes. We know this! But why do we keep on changing our start date to the next day and the next day and then the next day? Our common excuses are, I still have time, I will do it tomorrow, I am busy, I need to relax now. When we all know the real reason is FEAR! You just don’t know where to start, your afraid of being judged, you have a fear of failing, you have a fear of too much work and time consumption. All BIG EXCUSES!

Life Hacks of Starting…

Let’s start this project. I’ll help you through it ALL. Let’s start by defining the project. You really want to achieve and complete this task; Check! Now, let’s start only by 15 minutes of your time! Not a day, no not 6 hours, not an hour but 15 minutes; Seems Doable!  Write this goal down on your handy dandy note pad but since you are all tech savvy’s let’s download a really great task tracking app! My personal favorite is Wunderlist and Evernote. Set a Start Date beside your project and take out 15 minutes every day for the first task. You are thinking just 15 minutes? YES! just 15 minutes. It’s easier to start smaller than bigger. It’s all about training and habit, once you start there is no looking back. 

Now you are thinking, all that is good, I already know this part but what about the task? The first task, what is that? umm remember I had a problem starting! Yes, yes, I  do remember. First task is always research. Knowledge helps you gain confidence. If your fear of starting the project is failure and being judged, than that research works as a great brace. Or maybe you are an expert at the topic of the project but what about the execution? Research on how to bring the project to life. Take notes! 

Always assess your progress. Track, Track, Track! This will hopefully help you get you started! Listen, just 15 minutes, that’s all.

I will write to you soon to follow up on the outcome.

Sincerely,

Dla