Importance of Customer Service

Hello World,

Have you ever received bad customer service and felt, No way, I am never going back there again?! I have and I am positive every person reading right now can relate to at least one instance of bad customer service. What do you do as a customer at this point; give them benefit of the doubt, stay quiet, never return or perhaps write a bad review? If you are any one like me, you do all latter three options! You remember the half-hearted service that was once provided and choose to go elsewhere with better service.

Customers are Core to any Business…

Customer service is often under-valued in many start-ups and businesses. A study by U.S. Small Business Administration claims 68% of customers leave because they are unhappy with the treatment they received. Most of us who own and operate businesses understand how valuable customer satisfaction actually is. A business failing to provide customer satisfaction is preventing itself from future growth and expansion. An unsatisfied customer reacts in various ways, they keep quiet and replace you with your competitor, complain, spread negative review and write a bad review on social media. All of which are terrible publicity of your business. For instance, it is shown 96% of these customers will remain silent and walk over to your fellow competitor for their specialties and each negative word of mouth will earn you 26 extra unhappy customers. This means you are losing revenue because it’s cheaper to retain customers then acquire new ones.

Happy customers…

I know your business is your baby, but your business not unique! Anyone who has a business has at least one competitor. Happy customer rule number 1 – Find a Point of Differentiation. For example, Apple fans are loyal because they value the quality of the product. Add value to your service and product such as quality or additional features which distinguishes the business from its competitor. This can be easily achieved by training customer service or the sales representatives to be more engaging with the client as they build a relationship. First impression is the last impression, the reps are the face of the company as they are the ones to interact with the client directly. Customer service reps should have in depth knowledge about the product. They should have the pleasant personality and guess what, being funny always works! Thorough training on communication and client relationship will help the reps become more confident and in turn this will build client’s trust.

Happy customer rule number 2 – focus on Retention. Do you want your customers to come back over and over? Treat your existing customers, offer them with promotions, discounts and credit. Blog your products, send them emails and newsletters. Tell them they are valued and show them how much you saved them at the end of the year by giving away freebies, promotions or discounts.

Happy customer rule number 3 –Word of mouth. This is an important one, some businesses run solely based on word of mouth to build brand awareness. Remember, 1 unsatisfied customer equals 26 unsatisfied customer just by word of mouth. As good customer service appeals to new customers, word of mouth will raise your network of clients. Grow your exposure, make sure your business has a Website, Facekbook page, Instagram, Snapchat, Tweeter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Youtube, Google+ and any other social media they can use to easily ask you a question.

Happy customer rule number 3 –Track your customer behavior/Track customer service performance. No don’t follow them home! To have a point of differentiation you have to stay one step ahead of your competitors. To do that you need feedback from your customers, this is called Benchmarking. Give your customers a little survey and a feedback to complete after a phone call or by email. Statistics show, 60% of customers don’t like phone calls and 75% prefer text or email. This will help you evaluate where your competitors are doing well and you need improvement.

Calculate the churn rate, in other words the turnover rate of your clients. To calculate churn rate: number of clients lost / number of clients in the beginning of the month = % percentage. This will help you determine your growth potential as a company and also tell you if you will get a return on your marketing cost.

Monitor your customer service team’s performance and provide them quality training. Many businesses make a mistake of treating their customer service team as a complete different department. The back end workers does not want to have anything to do with the front line. Let’s change our perspective, the whole company is in customer service. If you are providing a back end software upgrade for a customer’s product, you are providing customer service. Perhaps you are applying for a mortgage approval, then the mortgage broker sends the paper work to the banks Documentation department and the Credits department who are in line is serving you as a customer. Therefore, a smooth transition in process will give you a faster result and make you happy.

Good customer service reduces problems. So let’s make everyone a happy customer…

Thank you,

DLA

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Addiction – Are you in denial?

Hello World,

Habit Vs. Addiction

 Do you think addiction is a choice or can people choose to be addicted? What causes addiction? How come some people are more prone to get addicted then others? Most smokers argue that they are not addicted and they can stop whenever if they choose to quit. However, if they do attempt quitting they would most likely fail. It takes more than just motivation and will power to quit something addictive. Habit is something you choose to do and can resign from whenever but having a cigarette daily is definitely not a habit.

Addiction is recognized as a chronic disease, same as cancer and heart diseases. You don’t choose to have cancer and or a kidney failure. Same with addiction, it chooses you! Sure the first smoke, the first few glasses of alcohol, the first game of poker and the first sniff of drug is all you, you made that choice and decision! Though, as you continue you start craving these things, not by choice, but because your body demands it. If you are addicted, you have a chemical imbalance in your brain which results in mental, physical and behavioral changes.

No Control…

Addiction is when we have no control over our mind and behavior due to a substance or a behavior. You can be an impulsive shopper, impulsive gambler, addicted to video games, food, sex, drugs, alcohol etc.  Addiction occurs to people to due to many reasons. Often it’s said that addiction is due to genetics, FALSE! It can happen to anyone! Usually the reasons are depression, sadness, loneliness, violence, sexual/mental abuse, trauma, influence and an environment surrounded by that substance. For example, if the environment you are in such as work, school or home has drugs in the background then you might be influenced in to using it.

Low Dopamine and Serotonin

Addiction is a coping method for depression. Dopamine is neurotransmitter which controls the reward and pleasure area of your brain. It also controls movement in our body, if we are low in dopamine then we are at risk of getting Parkinson’s disease. Serotonin is a chemical that helps balance your mood. Low Serotonin triggers depression. Low Serotonin also can makes us turn quite suicidal. 

Alcohol, smoking, gaming, gambling, drugs, shopping, and any impulsive behavior provides a short term high. People use these to get away from sadness and despair. They think that it’s giving them happiness and eliminating distress. However, they forget alcohol and drugs are anti-depressant. These substances will provide the short term pleasure of fogginess and they will make you forget for a slight period of time. But then it will all come back making you more depressed, asking for more substance to get rid of it once again.

Alcohol, drug, gambling, sex etc. increases your dopamine, so does eating chocolate and winning the lottery. But in addiction, your body becomes greedy and asks for more and more increase of dopamine. When you consume too much the body adapts and confuses your coping method and wants more of the increased pleasure.

Will Power…

Will power isn’t enough! Remember it’s a chronic disease. If you know someone who is addicted then the first step is making them admit they have an addiction. Most people are in denial because of the stigma that addiction has. They know it’s unhealthy but still continue because they can’t stop. The best way to help these people is by helping them admit they have a problem. Then finding a good rehab center. To recover from addiction, people need supervised medical monitoring. Getting Nicotine, won’t help, it’s just replacing cigarettes to increase your dopamine some other way.

Keep it Healthy!

Dla

 

 

 

Dissatisfaction – Good or Bad?

Hello World,

We all go through it! We go through dissatisfaction numerous times throughout the day. Monday mornings are the worst, right?! If we could get 5 more minutes in Bed! We are all dissatisfied of rolling out of our amazing, comfy, cozy, warm bed and head out for that dreadful work. At lunch, we feel dissatisfaction if the first bite of our food does not taste great. Let’s not even mention the rush hour when we are headed home from work, the weather traffic, the rush, let’s just say it takes a while to get home! Even when we are fast asleep at night, we can be dissatisfied with a discomforting position, we have to alter it right away to get back to our good night sleep. These are conditions we don’t pay a lot of attention to. But dissatisfaction arises in many ranges; the ones we tend to focus on more are larger dissatisfaction if life related to Health, Finance, Relationship and Work.

Chasing Happiness…

Why am I not satisfied? What will make me satisfied? Money, fame, success, goals, the end destination perhaps? The answer is No. You will not be satisfied no matter what height you reach. Yes, money will make you comfortable. The attention you receive from fame will give you a short term high. Reaching your success and goals will bring up the question of what is next?! This is a great question, we are never completely satisfied because we always want to grow and progress.

We are always chasing the, What’s Next? This gives us a greater cause of fulfillment. When things feel stagnant in your life, you are forced to make a change. We set keep setting targets one after the other to reach new altitudes and attain short term satisfactions in our life. Maybe you are stuck at a work where the pay is low, you are over qualified for the position and there is no room for creativity, hence no room for growth. The work environment and people are toxic. What should your next step be? Working towards a change of course!

Now some of people can’t make that change very easily. Mostly because of lack of motivation. But I get it, you have responsibilities. You have a family to take care of and expenses. But you can start to work towards the change, even if it’s a small change. If you are dissatisfied with work, you can get education and coaching to upgrade your skillset to apply for better opportunities. Look for the, what is next? If you are dissatisfied with your appearance then let’s work on a meal plan and fix the diet. Let’s research a workout routine and start working for it.

But sometimes life is just a Beep! We just have unexpected life circumstances that unable us from pursuing our set targets, oh you know, good old family and health issues etc. That means it’s time to pick up a hobby you love, trust me this will help! If one part of your life is full of stress and you balance it out with something you love doing then this will assist the mind and body to release stress and toxins (so would exercise! Hint, Hint). Don’t let negativity build up.

Don’t be Pessimist…

Dissatisfaction is amazing, as it shows you where you don’t want to be and pushes you for growth. But what about the people who are constantly complaining and are doing nothing to change that? Yes, we all know one of those friends who’s constantly complain about what is missing in their life but they would never take a step to alter that situation. Why are they so pessimistic? Because, in today’s day and age we are taught to focus on tomorrow more than today. We are taught, to gain happiness we have to reach the destination and forget about the journey that leads up to it. We are taught unhealthy competition; jealousy over someone who is making more than you. We are taught materialism. Happiness equals to more money and things, more and more things, right?! Wrong! Happiness is not what is happening around you but what is happening inside you. You need to forecast the future but be mindful of the present. Being more aware at this very moment will help you gain a different optimistic perspective. You will learn to become more content with your life and at the same time have the motivation to pursue and push for your goals. Focus on the smaller things in life, you are not aware but those bring you the most happiness. Focus on the journey, it’s important.

Everyone has their own battles and you need to focus on yours. Do not compare yourself with others. Use others as examples of where you want to be and what you want to achieve. Learn from their mistakes and use them as a guide and a mentor. Don’t use them as an excuse to complain about what you lack in life. Complaining slows you down, you are not gaining anything by complaining but sympathy by complaining. Plus you should be authentic, you don’t have to wish to live another person’s “great” life, you can have your own great life and be satisfied.

Let’s utilize our dissatisfaction and not let it go to waste!

Thanks,

Dla

Self Doubt – JUST DO IT!

Hello World,

Past Experiences…

Self doubt stems from what we have learnt about ourselves in the past. What parents tried teaching us when we were growing up always plays a part in our lives one way or the other today. Parents want to be a guide for the best of our future however sometime that very guidance may inflict our present self doubt. As you were younger, you may have been told NOT to pursue to choose a certain path in the future because of the following; you can’t be a fire fighter or a cop that is too dangerous! You can’t pursue to become an artist or writer, you won’t make any money! Don’t waste your time on Medical school, you are just not smart enough!

“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” ~Cicero

Too dangerous, not enough money/security and you are just not good enough! These thoughts are manipulative. They come back when we are rejected from something we wanted to achieve. These negative thoughts even stop us from pursuing life goals we want to accomplish because we doubt being adequate. We always want to be a perfect fit, if we don’t fit then we are judged.

We think we are not good enough to live the life we dreamt. Many job seekers, doubt their capabilities and don’t apply to the position they are a perfect match for. Self-doubt prevents us from many opportunities that come our way. It’s always there holding us back. It tells you to live life in the social norm and as a mediocre. But this way of thinking is toxic. How do you know you are not good enough, if you don’t try?!

When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” ~Honore de Balzac

If you have been rejected, and are letting go of other prospects because you still feel that you aren’t adequate, STOP! Give yourself a bit of time and then assess why you are feeling self doubt. If you feel you are not good at a skill, then let’s put in work to attain that skill. You can’t pass opportunities just because you failed once or twice, remember positive affirmation; Risk – Is it Scarier taking a Risk or Not taking One? … If you are not good at something now, doesn’t mean you won’t get better at it in the future. A kid who is not good at math, doesn’t mean won’t be good later on in time if they have determination.

What you tell yourself is important! If you tell yourself that you won’t make it then you won’t! I believe you, because that’s what you believe. You are setting yourself for failure just by that negativity. But if you think positive, and say, okay well I failed this time but I will learn and get better then that will change things. You are as good as what you believe, so let’s get working!

The Judgemental losers…

They don’t exist in a large number! Yes, they are a few of these judgemental losers who would look at you and say, hmm why are you doing what you are doing! These people are only saying that since they can’t get themselves to pursue their own dreams and they have a lot of time on their hand. Stop worrying about these people! Most people don’t care! They have their own lives to worry about, their own dreams, aspiration, career goals and stress. They are more worried about how to start their day, that month end deadline at work, coming home and cooking dinner and spending time with their loved ones.

Set an example for these people, if they are judging, let them do it! Prove them wrong! You will be more appreciated for trying and trying then to sit back and live the same boring life as everyone else.

How to over come Self -Doubt…

  1. Fix your mindset – You got rejected? So is he, and so is she…we all have. But we don’t give up!
  2. Positive affirmation – You Are MORE than good enough!
  3. When you are feeling self doubt, unwind a bit! Give yourself time to relax and enjoy some quality time. This will give you some to get your thoughts aligned again.
  4. Evaluate why you are feeling self doubt – why do you feel you are not good enough and what can you do to become good?
  5. Write it down! Where is your Journal? Write down, why you are feeling self doubt and the positives steps you will be taking.
  6. Read Motivational articles – You need motivation and their are plenty of people who felt and been where you are. Read how they over came self doubt.
  7. You don’t have to do it alone! Find family and friends to talk about your self doubts. Most of the time we over evaluate and exaggerate the situation in our mind. Our loved ones can bring things back to perspective for us. Don’t worry, they will not judge you!

Remember, you are amazing…

Thank you,

DLA

 

Expectations in Relationships

Hello World,

We have all done it…

Why do we expect a great deal from our loved ones? Why do we expect them to just know what to do or say what we want we want to hear? And what if the roles were reversed? Maybe you always expect a birthday present from your parents. Maybe you expect your romantic partner to read your mind all the time. Maybe you expect your best friend to not be late or make you wait for an event. Yes, we have all done it. We all expected and became upset when our expectations were not met. But is if fair? We are missing a point when we put the “expectation” strain our loved ones.

Goal oriented expectations…

Expectations are good for goals and for us. If we are working towards achieving our goals we should always forecast for the outcome we expect. This will help us create plan A, B, and C to tackle any sort of obstacles we may come across; Adaptability – Your Biggest Competitive Advantage.  Having goal oriented expectations is a tool to prevent failure. For example, I know I am expected to complete a 30 minute abs workout every day to achieve the expected body type I want to achieve. If I fail to work out every day then my expectations are not met.

But when that expectation is on someone else…

You are putting in effort to achieve an expected result, is different from when you expect someone else to fulfil your goals. Having expectations on others  behavior is unfair. We forget that! We are good old emotional human beings after all. We are close to our friend, family and loved ones. We take their love for granted and think, hmm they love me so they must know me so well, therefore I expect them to know exactly what I am expecting from them! High expectations on your loved ones is another word for selfish and toxic. We completely forget that they have emotional and physical limitations. They have their own thinking and perceptions, they might not see a situation as eye to eye.

Some people just like taking and not giving. We are selfish because we expect our loved ones to not expect the same in return. We expect from them but become cold when they expect from us. Perhaps it’s because when the roles are reversed we have limitations too!

Roles Reversed…

Do you want to be dependant on your spouse 80% and expect them to fulfill your share of goals? While you put in 20% in the relationship. That is a pretty unhealthy relationship. First off, you are placing strain on your partner. Second, you are giving away your independence, (never become dependant on anyone!). Third, you telling me that you lack self-esteem and you need someone else to help carry your share of work.

A good relationship is when the partners are working on goals in parallel. They share feedback and are constantly motivating each other but they let each other keep their own identity. They let each other work on their own goals and success. And when the two bring their knowledge, and success together they become a complete power couple! These two are unstoppable!

Until next time…

Dla

 

 

Adaptability – Your Biggest Competitive Advantage

Hello World,

We should all adapt and become more resilient…

In today’s time we all need to be resilient to our current, ever changing environment. Not being able to adapt proves to be a BIG disadvantage in today’s day and age. Everything is changing, whether it be business, technology, relationships, you name it. If we are not keeping up and stopping to accept to change with the time then failure is waiting for us outside our front door!

Comfort Zone, what a sweet place! NOT!

Comfort zone is killer! Comfort zone is not letting you progress! I am telling you, comfort zone is your worst enemy! This is what is exactly stopping us from adapting to change. Come on even dating has changed; I remember some time back when some of you use to complain and say, No! I won’t go on a dating site, it’s for losers!!! Now tell me how many of you have Tinder today? But if you had still kept that same old mentality as you had few years back about getting on a dating app/site, who would be a loser in today’s time?!

Yes, you have to adapt with time. If you were looking to date and thinking, hmm the person will just come knock on my door step, well I have news for you sweetheart, the last Tinder statistics update show estimated 50 million users are just taking their chances and finding a partner while you are sitting at home waiting! You will fail to achieve if you don’t put yourself out there, don’t work it and step out of the comfort zone.

Uncertainty…    

Why is it hard to step out from where we are comfortable? Because yet again, we are afraid of the unknown. Uncertainty scares us. We are good where we are, saves us from being judged, failure and disappointment. But it also stops us from progress. Nowadays, a HR Generalist evaluates your candidacy upon your ability to adapt to the work place. They look for the following,

  • Handling emergencies or crisis situations
  • Handling work stress
  • Solving problems creatively
  • Dealing effectively with unpredictable or changing work situations
  • Learning work tasks, technologies, and procedures
  • Demonstrating interpersonal adaptability
  • Displaying cultural adaptability
  • Demonstrating physically oriented adaptability

In order to master the Adaptability, the skill of being resilient need to be learnt. We have to change our mindset to become more optimistic. If you had a sudden loss of job, what would be your immediate action to that repercussion? An adaptable person, would have a quick Plan A and a Plan B to that unexpected situation. A resilient person, would bounce back right away to put Plan A and B to work. 

Prepare for the worst…

Businesses are always changing and competing with other businesses. Way to sustain in the  ongoing race, businesses use point of sale systems and adaptive data mining applications to collect information to forecast trends. Lightly speaking, Nokia failed to forecast Apples advanced technology innovation. Blockbuster refused to change and adapt to new world of digital on demand television aka Netflix.To adapt and grow, you always have to be on top of the trend.

What to do?

Do your Research, study your market! Think out of the box! Push yourself a little! Be more optimistic and open minded. Set small goals towards the change every day, make sure there is check mark beside them every night. Learn how to forecast, try to predict what might go wrong, and brainstorm Plan A, B and C. Don’t be afraid to fail…

Remember failure is only failure if you didn’t learn anything from it!

Thanks,

DLA

Risk – Is it Scarier taking a Risk or Not taking One?

Hello World,

Why are we afraid?

What is stopping us from taking that next step? Why do we just stop at our dreams and go back to living our daily routine? Is it that we can’t accept change or is it just because we are deeply afraid of failure?

It’s human nature to always focus on the Cons vs. Pros when we are making a decision. We tend to look at what may go horribly wrong rather than what might turn in a very positive, fruitful outcome. Let’s say we have a friendly neighbor named Bob. Bob is a 30 year old male who hates his daily life as a boring Banker. He is stuck in a dull repetitive cycle and he wishes he could change that at any cost. Bob’s dream is to start a his own Financial Consulting business. The Pros to this decision; Bob will be his own BOSS! His finance will grow faster than it does now. He won’t have to work 9-5. He will have the freedom of making his own decisions. Bob will living his dream, which in other words mean that he will be very, very HAPPY! But instead Bob would be more focused on the Cons of this decision: He might fail. There is no job security. Money will not flow in weekly. He might lose tons of money. He will be judged by others because he is incapable of running his own business. He won’t be able to get back up after he loses all this money in a failed business. He doesn’t know how much work and time this business might ask of him. The list of Cons are endless. Hence Bob decides to keep his daily 9-5 job and gives up on his dreams.

BUT WHAT IF…    

But what if we are over-thinking? What if it’s not as bad as Bob, our friendly neighbor, is making it to be? We are all neurologically wired to over evaluate how bad the outcome of our decision would be. We fear the risk of stepping out of our comfort zone. We fear not being in control. We fear failure. We fear being judged. How good we are at taking risks and chances has a lot to do with social and cultural impact as well as our childhood programming.

Fear has always been tagged as being negative, but without fear we would do really stupid things! In my case, if I had literally zero fear, I wouldn’t stop being 24/7 dare devil which in turn would mean 206 broken bones in my body! But when it comes to chances related to progress in life then we have to do something to subside this overwhelming fear.

“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabelle Allende

How can we deal with fear of taking risks? We fake it, till we make it and use positive affirmation. How do we use positive affirmation? Let’s say Bob is weak at math,  his worst subject is fractions. Although he is putting is work to increase his marks he would still do anything to get out of that horrible math class. When he speaks to his school friends, he mentions how much he sucks at the subject and he can’t do it. Bob ends up convincing himself he can never over come fraction and sets a pretty weak impression on others as well. This mindset of self doubt ends up having a negative impact on his grades. But if Bob uses positive affirmation instead of being negative, and say’s, he is amazing at math and he is working on his fractions. This skill of positivity would keep his confidence high and the fear would decrease. You are your own worst enemy, therefore use reverse psychology to convince yourself that YOU CAN DO IT! If you are afraid to take the next step, positive affirmation is the way to go. You will be fine!

But then comes, if I fail those people standing their will laugh at me! I will be the joke of the town! They will judge me! But honestly who cares? Trust me, if you try to impress every one, you will never be happy. If you don’t let people judge you, you will never find out who loves you and who likes your work. Let people judge you and get feedback. If you are holding back because you are afraid of criticism then you are limiting yourself to grow. You are missing out on the opportunity to find out what to improve on.

Comfort zone is a big one! People would rather 9-5, eat, sleep, wake up and repeat, than pursue what is out of the norm for them. They come up with all these excuses to keep them from taking the risk, I’m too busy, I don’t have the money, or I don’t want to disappoint others. But they don’t realize most retired people now complain, hey should have taken more risks, settled less and spoken up more often.  Not saying we have to take risks every chance we get, but we have to take quality risks to bring a change and create more learning opportunities. Why live a stagnate life when we have potential and opportunity to achieve way more than we could imagine. We think if something is not working out then it will just sort itself out or if something is just going the way it is, changes will come on it’s own, ONE DAY! NO! If there is no progress in your life, then I am sorry you are doing something wrong! And changes won’t just come to you, you have to work for it! At this day and age people with physical disabilities with the right mindset have achieved more than we can even imagine and we limit ourselves to daily norms?! If we don’t push out of our comfort zone and work towards our set goals and dreams then we will be stuck where we never wanted to be at the first place. Remember when we don’t become our dream, we actually get smaller.

All this talk is good but many of us are logical. Many of us are afraid that once we take that risk we won’t be in control of the situation and therefore it will back-fire and hit the ground immensely hard! Fear of not being in control. But that is what chance is right? You don’t have control over the situation. I am not saying to take chance like you are playing the lottery, or you are betting in a casino! Please don’t do that! Remember too much risk equals imbalance in life. When you are taking a risk, make sure it’s a calculated risk. If you are preparing to launch a business, study the market, do your research! If you are going skydiving, read the guidelines, study and make sure you pay attention at the training sessions. We might not know what the outcome will be but we want to make sure the odds are in our favor. Chance favors the prepared.

Think about it, you have one life and limited time to achieve certain goals. Would you rather just fit in or achieve your goals whether it be Health, Wealth, Relationship, and Education. Take a risk, the odds are better than you think. Failing is far more productive than doing nothing at all!

Thanks again,

DLA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rejection – Say No to your Inner Sulker

Hello World,

When someone say’s No…

Yes, we’ve all been there! We all faced rejection more than once in our lives. Whether be it in relationships, job interviews, business ideas, you name it. But why does it hurt so bad? Why can’t we just accept and move on right away? Why does that, “NO” sting like a deadly Yellow Jacket bee!

Rejection activates the same areas of the brain equally as when we feel physical pain. Though, we forget how physical pain once felt but we definitely hold on to social pain. We can vividly recall and re-live the emotional discomfort we felt when we got rejected. But we can’t recollect the feeling for a past physical pain we experienced.

Rejection takes a Shot at our Self-esteem…

Perhaps we all have a BIG head full of ego! Maybe we are a bit stubborn at heart. Perhaps it hurts a hell lot because we all set our hope on something; however in return we don’t wind up receiving what we hoped for. We want what we want right??!

Then comes the question, Why? Why did we get rejected? We talk ourselves into thinking it’s us. Must be ME! John doesn’t like me! hmm must be because I am not good looking enough, maybe because of how I speak, or wait am I too fat? I got rejected from that job because I am not deserving. My business idea got turned down again, I should quit, I am a failure in life. Negative!

Rejection is when both parties are not a perfect fit for each other, doesn’t mean something is wrong with you! If someone say’s the word “NO!”, it’s because they have their own list of preferences and we don’t match. We are guilty of being denial as well, we all have our own preference list! We would most likely say no to someone who doesn’t fit our needs but we forget that instantly in our situation. This is the same reason why our favorite company we always wanted to work for rejects us. There were thousands of applicants and someone else better fit’s their criteria. And here is the big one, if a business idea is rejected and the next route is quitting, then I question why you chose to become an entrepreneur in the first place!

Two types of thinkers … 

There are two types of thinkers when it comes to rejection, 1. who sulks and sulks forever and 2. who adapts. Which one are you?

If you chose number one, the Sulker, then toughen up sweetheart! You are wasting time. When you are facing rejection, the best thing to do is open a journal to document your feelings, or call a close one and vent, next step: Move on…

I am the one in he middle, I sulk and adapt pretty darn quickly. Rejection stings for a bit, it’s human nature. But there is a lesson attached to every rejection in life. If everything we ever wanted was handed easily to us, we won’t get the opportunity to work hard for it. We would lose the value and importance of that want. Plus, that would take away great learning prospect which would make us all pretty darn stupid! Rejection is important in life, it makes us stronger. The best skill to learn from rejection is how to become a great negotiator.

If a party say’s no, instead of sulking try to understand why it’s a no. Ask the right questions. If you ask the right questions, maybe you can work your way to a yes. If it’s still a no then get feedback. Getting feedback is important, this will help us improve. Never forget to keep in touch. There is no reason to stop keeping a connection with someone or a party who has rejected you. If you keep in touch, you never know what the future holds.

Don’t be a Sulker!

Dla 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Habit’s – Let’s start our 2017

Hello World,

What are some of your resolution this new year?

H0w are you doing so far with your resolutions? Did you end up postponing for the next day? Did you give up after first few days of trying?

Most of us have difficulty following through on our goals and taking it to completion. We plan the goal, yes that part is easy peasy, we are good at setting goals! But we don’t actually write the goal down on paper to keep track and to remind us that THIS needs to GET DONE! Some of us just give up, we have other work, we are too “Busy” or other things seem more important…I have been down that road, I know how resolution setting works. For some it comes down to my first post, Dreaming… (Where to start?)

Let’s pick up some good habit’s and let’s work on our goals today. I believe the one thing trick to keep working on our goals is consistency. People give up and quit for various reasons. We just don’t where or how to start! We didn’t do the research. Let’s get this straight, the idea of the goal seems flawless but can someone else do the research for us?! We don’t like how much over time/hard work this  goal will need. We don’t like work, we want to save time rather than waste it. Hence we don’t have time. We get distracted; our Netflix shows are better than our goals. We don’t know what’s involved. We don’t know the outcome; seems like it won’t work and we won’t get the desired results.

Why don’t we just start?

Seems like we fear the unknown and our “optimistic bias” is making us procrastinate once again. How do we get consistent and stick to our goals then? First of all let’s evaluate this goal. Let’s review the significance of this goal, in my post Simplicity – Rules to Organize, I talk about how to simplify your ideas. Let’s ask the following questions, how long will this goal matter? Can this goal be postponed? If you start to work towards this goal today, what are the outcomes and how will it benefit you? If you get this done today, would you have more time left on your hands tomorrow? The last question is very important. For example, if I automate all my banking transactions today, it saves me time for going in and paying my bills.

After we decide the significance of our goal, we start to practice and we have to practice for it every day. This is just like how a person would study for their GMAT, MCAT, LSAT or any other professional designation. We have to practice for it every day without a gap. This is a ritual, which keeps the consistency flowing. Consistency brings results. We cannot in any circumstance quit because we are not getting instant results. We have to track our progress.

Tracking is very important. Tracking motivates us. We will track our results every day till we reached the destination. The outcome will be fruitful. Let’s stop fearing what the outcome will be, because if we practice and show patience it will be worthwhile.

How can we incorporate practice towards our goals every day in our lives? We have very demanding lives, how can take out time for it? By starting slow. You don’t have to complete your goal in one day. That’s wishful thinking, won’t happen in a day! To achieve we have to put research, knowledge and hard work. Start by forecasting how much time this goal needs, we often over-estimate how much time a project needs to reach it’s completion. For example, to lose certain amount of weight or to achieve a type of body shape, we would need 30 days and we will work-out/practice 30 minutes every day to see the complete result on the 30 day mark. if you are having difficulty forecasting, then put in 15 minutes to start just on research.  Research boost confidence. We have a highly variable neuroplasticity brain, we love to learn and adapt. Knowledge will make us more confident towards our goals.

How do we keep going without losing focus?

Let’s discuss items that get in the way of our goal and serves no importance. Let’s put Social media; Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Television, PS4, Xbox etc. on the side for a bit. There is a time and place for everything but when it comes to our achievements, social media is serving us, it’s distracting us from our purpose. Our goals are our priorities.

The reason we need to practice each day is to get a bit closer to the destination every single day. But I get it, when we do something every day without variation it will eventually get boring. Then we will lose interest. This is when I stress the importance of tracking once again. We need to track to see progress. It’s a mind trick. It’s almost as if we are setting a goal every day, and we are achieving something every day; these are our short term milestones that will lead to our over all goal.

One of my new year resolution was as simple as drinking water every day to improve my over all health, skin and lifestyle. I downloaded a simple app on my phone called Lifesum. It tracks my calorie count to my every day workout. However, the thing that most interested me was the tracking of how much water I intake in a day. The tracking method is genius! It shows that I need to consume 8 glasses a day. Each time I successfully have 8 glasses and track in on the app, it gives me a thumbs up and trophy for achieving my goal. That is recognition. We need recognition to complete our every day boring goals. For example, if you are on diet/workout plan to reach a certain body type, you get one cheat day because you deserve it for your hard work.

What do we have to repeat?   

  1. Evaluate the goal – Is it significant?
  2. Set short term goals
  3. Practice towards it every day (consistency will show result)
  4. Don’t the short term goals become boring and treat yourself!

Remember practice makes perfect!

Dla

 

Hope – How to Cope when a Loved one is Suffering

Hello World,

Accept…

It’s hard for us to accept that someone we made great memories with are suffering and passing before our eyes. Hard to accept someone who holds value in our lives will no longer be a part of it going forward. When you first hear a loved one has been diagnosed with a terminally ill disease, you just don’t know how to react. Over load of emotion takes over. One self harming thing we do is bottle our emotions and just try to deal with it. But the good thing to do is to step a side from the loved one for a bit and find a room where you can be a lone; maybe your bedroom or the washroom. Any room where it’s just you to sort out your emotions. You should just cry it out, speak it out; any thoughts you are feeling at that very moment needs be out in the open. Don’t worry if this process takes 3 hours or a day or two but this needs to happen to handle this tough situation better.

You need to step away from your loved ones for a bit, that way they don’t see you broken. If they see you broken then this effects them  very deeply. They already have the burden of sorting out their own emotions. They face a great deal of stress, fear and confusion at that time. They are pushed in a new life situation where they have to face death well before it is expected.  You need to get your emotions out so you can be a good support and make this heavy situation much lighter for your loved ones.

Love them …

I know the seriousness of the situation but you have to show them love. They can’t feel that things have changed, the love you had for them has changed in any way. You need to tell or show them how much you love them every day. Remind them of memories that you created together, maybe even take them to re-live the memory. Make them happy. You no means have to show that everything will be okay but try to minimize the negativity in the atmosphere.  You don’t have to bottle your emotions and force positivity. But try to highlight the positive. Ex: If your loved one is in the hospital lying in the bed, maybe say something like about how good they look today.

Don’t be selfish …

Maybe you know best at that time, or maybe you are trying to do everything perfectly, maybe you know how to handle the situation more than your loved ones. But remember they have a coping method as well. Their emotions and how they want to handle the situation matters more than how you would like to handle it. Whatever they say goes, they are the boss. Let them make their own decisions and stand by it. Remember, anything to make them happy!

Don’t be scared to say goodbye …

The last moments; sit very close to them, hold their hand and stroke their hair lightly, soft and gently, this will make them feel good. Don’t be afraid to say good bye. This part is the hardest. Accept, it will take time to fill a void. You will miss them, yes. But don’t worry that is what life is. Don’t hold on, best coping methods are hot showers everyday and picking up a hobby. Read a great book or place yourself in settings of new or old friends. Go for a long drive and put on music you love. Music therapy is the best way to coping with sadness. At the end,  just celebrate their lives they spent with you and remember them with a lot of happiness. Remember the joy they brought to your life and how they want to see you now. They want to see you happy, healthy and successful in your life.

When you love give it your 100% till the end,

Sincerely,

Dla