Happy Anniversary To Me on WordPress

Hello Everyone,

Happy Anniversary to me on this platform. Thank you everyone for reading and showing support for all these years.

A lot of don’t take time to celebrate our milestones and I am one of them. But it is a rewarding feeling and accomplishments should be celebrated!

Please take the time to check out my Style and Fashion items on Instagram @dlaofficial_

 

Remember, you are amazing…

If you need management or business solutions help, please visit: https://dlaofficial.wordpress.com/business/

Please share and spread the word! I have several coupons for you on my Instagram page!

Thank you,

DLA

Let’s connect!

Instagram: Dlaofficial_ (HI! 🙂 CLICK ON ME)

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Twitter @DilyPie

Make a Statement with your White and Black

Hello World,

The colors Black and White doesn’t always have to be boring! We can wear those colors as statements. I really love Chantel Li’s work and how she conceptualizes are pictures to make a statement.

They are simple, yet classy and elegantly presented. There is always a simple backless or flair or play in colors that make the clothing tell a story.

These outfits are well put together for business, for brunch dates, and also for a night out at classy lounge.

Which one of these outfits will be wearing next?

DLA

Let’s connect!

Instagram: Dlaofficial_

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Twitter @DilyPie

Last Minute DYI Christmas Tree!

Hello World,

This holiday I wanted to be creative with my Christmas tree. I have been seeing a lot of posts on social media and people are good at decor! Not only do they decorate the tree really well, they set up the background and stage the tree for a DSLR model shot!

Hence, I wanted my own super model tree and I wanted a DYI project! And to justify this DYI project I thought why buy and put up an expensive tree where I can go to a dollar store and make something more personable. Plus, a living tree is quite hard to maintain!

So after that was justified and established, lets find some options! Here are some environmently friendly ideas both of us can explore this Christmasy season!

Ps. Take my apologize before hand as I am not sure how these pictures formatted and aligned since I am using my phone… ok now we can start…

Which one is your favorite? It’s creative, simple! Yes some are 2-D but it saves you space for a party!

Happy Holiday!!

DLA

Let’s connect!

Instagram: Dlaofficial_

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Twitter @DilyPie

Finding Stability in your Passion Project

Hello World,

Everyone needs motivation! Some are positive motivation that are backed by habits and some are derived from no way out situations. Most of my motivations were from no way out situations. This is because people get too comfortable in one way of living. They mistake stability for security. This is actually a very wrong idea.

Stability is not actually security, but it’s similar to a low risk investment. Low risk investments are safer however there is still the word “RISK” attached to it. Here are some examples; you are working 10 years at a stable position but one day you get a layoff notice. You are with your spouse for several years and you planned your entire life with them but then one day health gets in the way. You plan on checking off all your bucket list items after retirement but health gets in the way again or other financial strains lock you down. These are the hidden cost of low risk investments. Low risks means no long term fulfillments.

I am not saying go waste all your savings on high risks stocks! Don’t do that unless you have the means. I am saying, forecast your future and invest more than one stable way. Use your stability as motivation to gain other securities. You have one stable source? That’s great! Now create other sources! I know, I know, here is where I help you answer your next question, where do you start?

It’s hard for some people to find passion because they never had the chance or someone to make them recognize that they excel in it. You start by listing down everything you are good at. You are good at math? You are good art? You are good at sewing? You are good at speaking? You are good at photography? What are you good at? I want you to highlight your top one or three things you are amazing at.

Now I want you to take one of your top 3 that appeal to you the most and really think about how you will develop this. You can enhance your learnings by taking free courses online or researching online. You can reach out to others who actually work on that same project. No matter how simple the project is, network to find out more. Don’t act like you are a “Know it all!”

When you have sufficient research about the topic and knowledge of what’s trending in the market. I want you to devote at least one hour every day doing case studies, or creating samples of the project. Yes, that’s right, every day! I know you don’t have time, you have to take care of work, kids, family, school, kitchen, chores, cat, dogs, husband, boyfriend, wife, girlfriend, mom, dad, grandma, parties, laundry and the never ending list of life. However, I want you to make some time to devote one hour for creativity.

After you have 5 to 10 samples, I want you to present them to your family and friends to gain feedback on how they like it. Your family and friends are not always honest because they don’t want you hurt. Therefore, ask them to be honest and constructive. How can you improve your service or material? Gain at least 5 feedbacks you can improve, yes that’s your goal!

Then I want you tell others what you have been doing and present their sample to them. Put it up on social media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, anywhere and everywhere. This is just sharing so don’t think too much into it. Alongside that, find a medium where you can display your item and in turn sell them. This will require you to know if you want this to be displayed online or at some ones store? Since I do everything online, I will guide you through your online endeavors.

Don’t expect to make money right away. The people who do are extremely lucky. It takes time and persistence to create a certain following and very few people get famous overnight. Hold on to your passion project and keep working on it every single day till it financially supports and secures you with your other stable sources.

Please feel to contact me if you require consultancy or assistance. I provide full timeframe and guideline to your success…

Thank you,

DLA

Let’s connect!

Instagram: Dlaofficial_

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Should you Rent or Buy?

Hello World,

I assure you I am late because I have been being very productive! Here is a question for you as always, how do you find the real estate market right now? If you are a realtor then the market is hot. The house bubble is great for making that BIG extra bit of change. Though from a first time home buyers perspective this outlook is dramatically different. If you are Gen Y/Millennial, you are between the ages of 18-35—you are intimidated by the current hot market. Would you choose to rent or own a house?

I know as a millennial, you come across individuals on Instagram and other social media platforms who are flaunting and selling their tempting lavish lifestyle! The ones that live in a 4000 square feet bungalow with surrounding glass windows facing a gorgeous water view. Tempting but unrealistic! Nonetheless that’s the American dream! But can you even afford that American Dream? How long do you have to save until you put down the deposit on your first house? Even if you choose to buy a house what if the market crashes and you lose money? Decisions, decisions, decisions!

American Dream

The traditional American Dream is set as an expectation for us when we are young. It is instilled in our mind as a definition of success. If you own then you are successful. Hence, if you own a house, you are perceived as established. For an American Dream to be complete, you need to own a big beautiful house at a reputed area, have a really nice gleaming, eye catching sports car (I think it has to be red, as I imagine it) and also don’t forget to marry a very ravishing gorgeous lady or handsome successful business tycoon. A little exaggerated, but you get the point! The point is that not everyone is Evan Spiegel!

Fun fact, studies show baby boomers purchased homes not only because of the American Dream, but also they subconsciously feared of getting Alzheimer’s at an old age. Having Alzheimer’s and not owning a house would get in the way of security and safety. They also bought places to not to be a burden on anyone especially their parents. What’s your inner reasoning for buying a house?

Weigh your options & also change your perception

Think about it! Why should you own a house and why you shouldn’t? What does your finance look like? If you didn’t buy a house, what will you be investing your money on? Are you buying because it adds to the things you own or do you think of it as a security. Are you buying because of social pressure? Are you buying it as an investment? How does buying now benefit you in the long run or how does it stop your progress? These are important questions I never got to put my mind on. I saved and saved, then I bought two houses. Which is great, I am happy. Being in it for the long haul even if the market crashes the value will only slightly depreciate (that’s my self-pep talk).

If you are capable and you want to own a property as a security then by all means. Given that after the purchase you still have money left in your bank. However, the perception of ownership has changed overtime. It’s merely impossible for some to even put down a down payment due to the high prices in the market. Statistic show 65% people rent homes in the United States. Then we have Uber, who drives to work anymore? If not Uber then people choose to lease or finance newer models of cars. More and more people are starting use clothing subscription services such as Trunk Club and Stitch, where you hire stylists to pick out your clothes and return whatever that you don’t like.

this-flowchart-could-help-you-decide-whether-to-buy-or-rent-a-home.png

Why Millennials choose to Rent?

Millennials choose to rent because of mobility. You are more mobile if you rent. Your finance is not stuck and you can use the same finance that you would use to purchase a house on another investments and securities such as education. Millenniala choose to put down the funds towards higher education to become more scalable. This open up prospects not only within region but abroad. The option of being more mobile makes it easier for them to relocate.

Happy Decision Making!

DLA

 

 

 

 

 

Intimidation equals Low Self Esteem

Hello World,

When was the last time you were at place where there was someone very intimidating? Someone who was over powering the room with their presence and confidence. But  have you ever self assessed why you were intimidated? Why your legs were shaking and you thought you can’t possibly approach them? Perhaps because you felt like you couldn’t speak to their knowledge. You don’t belong at the same space as them. They way look and carry themselves and the aura they bring overrides the surroundings. Maybe you thought they will judge your criticize you for your what you lack.

You Don’t Belong!

Yes you do! You are just insecure. When ever we walk into our bosses office we are insecure of their superiority. We are afraid of the police because they have authority and control. Have you ever thought of all the questions you would want to ask a celebrity whom you idolize? But I wonder if you would ever ask them if your idol was stuck in the same elevator together. Probably not, because they have a lot more than you such as, fame, money, confidence, and attitude. Did you ever attempt to tell your high school crush you liked them? Or maybe they were too cool to approach or you didn’t know if they would accept you.

Don’t Grant Permission…

I am sure you feel since you are the one insecure you are egoless and the other person is the one with the ego. But insecurity is tied to ego as well as arrogance. When you are with someone superior, you feel and look up to them in a certain way which diminishes your confidence. You give permission to be intimidated when they are clearly not. You have to realize, if you are in a room full of authorities, you are there because you belong. You earned it. You might not have the same credentials as them but you earned your spot.  You just need to work on your confidence and social skills. To build confidence and social skills you should get out of your comfort zone and start speaking to different people with different backgrounds and personalities. Confidence is always tagged with knowledge hence, read, read, read, write, write, write!

Know your Value…  

You don’t have to fit in! You don’t have to be someone else so they don’t judge you. Know your value. We usually start comparing ourselves with the one we are intimidated of. We start thinking of our short falls against their achievements. But you have value, you are just afraid of not receiving acceptance. When we get rejected, we feel low but why is that? Because we know we have Value!

Learn to be yourself, own your own experiences! Stop being afraid of being judged. Remember these intimidating people need to eat, sleep and breathe to survive just like you! They are not different from you. Stop thinking you don’t belong in the same space as them. Approach everyone with love and care. Fix your posture and stand tall!

Remember, you don’t have to give up your power by thinking you don’t have any!

Thanks,

Dla

 

 

 

Addiction – Are you in denial?

Hello World,

Habit Vs. Addiction

 Do you think addiction is a choice or can people choose to be addicted? What causes addiction? How come some people are more prone to get addicted then others? Most smokers argue that they are not addicted and they can stop whenever if they choose to quit. However, if they do attempt quitting they would most likely fail. It takes more than just motivation and will power to quit something addictive. Habit is something you choose to do and can resign from whenever but having a cigarette daily is definitely not a habit.

Addiction is recognized as a chronic disease, same as cancer and heart diseases. You don’t choose to have cancer and or a kidney failure. Same with addiction, it chooses you! Sure the first smoke, the first few glasses of alcohol, the first game of poker and the first sniff of drug is all you, you made that choice and decision! Though, as you continue you start craving these things, not by choice, but because your body demands it. If you are addicted, you have a chemical imbalance in your brain which results in mental, physical and behavioral changes.

No Control…

Addiction is when we have no control over our mind and behavior due to a substance or a behavior. You can be an impulsive shopper, impulsive gambler, addicted to video games, food, sex, drugs, alcohol etc.  Addiction occurs to people to due to many reasons. Often it’s said that addiction is due to genetics, FALSE! It can happen to anyone! Usually the reasons are depression, sadness, loneliness, violence, sexual/mental abuse, trauma, influence and an environment surrounded by that substance. For example, if the environment you are in such as work, school or home has drugs in the background then you might be influenced in to using it.

Low Dopamine and Serotonin

Addiction is a coping method for depression. Dopamine is neurotransmitter which controls the reward and pleasure area of your brain. It also controls movement in our body, if we are low in dopamine then we are at risk of getting Parkinson’s disease. Serotonin is a chemical that helps balance your mood. Low Serotonin triggers depression. Low Serotonin also can makes us turn quite suicidal. 

Alcohol, smoking, gaming, gambling, drugs, shopping, and any impulsive behavior provides a short term high. People use these to get away from sadness and despair. They think that it’s giving them happiness and eliminating distress. However, they forget alcohol and drugs are anti-depressant. These substances will provide the short term pleasure of fogginess and they will make you forget for a slight period of time. But then it will all come back making you more depressed, asking for more substance to get rid of it once again.

Alcohol, drug, gambling, sex etc. increases your dopamine, so does eating chocolate and winning the lottery. But in addiction, your body becomes greedy and asks for more and more increase of dopamine. When you consume too much the body adapts and confuses your coping method and wants more of the increased pleasure.

Will Power…

Will power isn’t enough! Remember it’s a chronic disease. If you know someone who is addicted then the first step is making them admit they have an addiction. Most people are in denial because of the stigma that addiction has. They know it’s unhealthy but still continue because they can’t stop. The best way to help these people is by helping them admit they have a problem. Then finding a good rehab center. To recover from addiction, people need supervised medical monitoring. Getting Nicotine, won’t help, it’s just replacing cigarettes to increase your dopamine some other way.

Keep it Healthy!

Dla

 

 

 

Dissatisfaction – Good or Bad?

Hello World,

We all go through it! We go through dissatisfaction numerous times throughout the day. Monday mornings are the worst, right?! If we could get 5 more minutes in Bed! We are all dissatisfied of rolling out of our amazing, comfy, cozy, warm bed and head out for that dreadful work. At lunch, we feel dissatisfaction if the first bite of our food does not taste great. Let’s not even mention the rush hour when we are headed home from work, the weather traffic, the rush, let’s just say it takes a while to get home! Even when we are fast asleep at night, we can be dissatisfied with a discomforting position, we have to alter it right away to get back to our good night sleep. These are conditions we don’t pay a lot of attention to. But dissatisfaction arises in many ranges; the ones we tend to focus on more are larger dissatisfaction if life related to Health, Finance, Relationship and Work.

Chasing Happiness…

Why am I not satisfied? What will make me satisfied? Money, fame, success, goals, the end destination perhaps? The answer is No. You will not be satisfied no matter what height you reach. Yes, money will make you comfortable. The attention you receive from fame will give you a short term high. Reaching your success and goals will bring up the question of what is next?! This is a great question, we are never completely satisfied because we always want to grow and progress.

We are always chasing the, What’s Next? This gives us a greater cause of fulfillment. When things feel stagnant in your life, you are forced to make a change. We set keep setting targets one after the other to reach new altitudes and attain short term satisfactions in our life. Maybe you are stuck at a work where the pay is low, you are over qualified for the position and there is no room for creativity, hence no room for growth. The work environment and people are toxic. What should your next step be? Working towards a change of course!

Now some of people can’t make that change very easily. Mostly because of lack of motivation. But I get it, you have responsibilities. You have a family to take care of and expenses. But you can start to work towards the change, even if it’s a small change. If you are dissatisfied with work, you can get education and coaching to upgrade your skillset to apply for better opportunities. Look for the, what is next? If you are dissatisfied with your appearance then let’s work on a meal plan and fix the diet. Let’s research a workout routine and start working for it.

But sometimes life is just a Beep! We just have unexpected life circumstances that unable us from pursuing our set targets, oh you know, good old family and health issues etc. That means it’s time to pick up a hobby you love, trust me this will help! If one part of your life is full of stress and you balance it out with something you love doing then this will assist the mind and body to release stress and toxins (so would exercise! Hint, Hint). Don’t let negativity build up.

Don’t be Pessimist…

Dissatisfaction is amazing, as it shows you where you don’t want to be and pushes you for growth. But what about the people who are constantly complaining and are doing nothing to change that? Yes, we all know one of those friends who’s constantly complain about what is missing in their life but they would never take a step to alter that situation. Why are they so pessimistic? Because, in today’s day and age we are taught to focus on tomorrow more than today. We are taught, to gain happiness we have to reach the destination and forget about the journey that leads up to it. We are taught unhealthy competition; jealousy over someone who is making more than you. We are taught materialism. Happiness equals to more money and things, more and more things, right?! Wrong! Happiness is not what is happening around you but what is happening inside you. You need to forecast the future but be mindful of the present. Being more aware at this very moment will help you gain a different optimistic perspective. You will learn to become more content with your life and at the same time have the motivation to pursue and push for your goals. Focus on the smaller things in life, you are not aware but those bring you the most happiness. Focus on the journey, it’s important.

Everyone has their own battles and you need to focus on yours. Do not compare yourself with others. Use others as examples of where you want to be and what you want to achieve. Learn from their mistakes and use them as a guide and a mentor. Don’t use them as an excuse to complain about what you lack in life. Complaining slows you down, you are not gaining anything by complaining but sympathy by complaining. Plus you should be authentic, you don’t have to wish to live another person’s “great” life, you can have your own great life and be satisfied.

Let’s utilize our dissatisfaction and not let it go to waste!

Thanks,

Dla

Self Doubt – JUST DO IT!

Hello World,

Past Experiences…

Self doubt stems from what we have learnt about ourselves in the past. What parents tried teaching us when we were growing up always plays a part in our lives one way or the other today. Parents want to be a guide for the best of our future however sometime that very guidance may inflict our present self doubt. As you were younger, you may have been told NOT to pursue to choose a certain path in the future because of the following; you can’t be a fire fighter or a cop that is too dangerous! You can’t pursue to become an artist or writer, you won’t make any money! Don’t waste your time on Medical school, you are just not smart enough!

“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” ~Cicero

Too dangerous, not enough money/security and you are just not good enough! These thoughts are manipulative. They come back when we are rejected from something we wanted to achieve. These negative thoughts even stop us from pursuing life goals we want to accomplish because we doubt being adequate. We always want to be a perfect fit, if we don’t fit then we are judged.

We think we are not good enough to live the life we dreamt. Many job seekers, doubt their capabilities and don’t apply to the position they are a perfect match for. Self-doubt prevents us from many opportunities that come our way. It’s always there holding us back. It tells you to live life in the social norm and as a mediocre. But this way of thinking is toxic. How do you know you are not good enough, if you don’t try?!

When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” ~Honore de Balzac

If you have been rejected, and are letting go of other prospects because you still feel that you aren’t adequate, STOP! Give yourself a bit of time and then assess why you are feeling self doubt. If you feel you are not good at a skill, then let’s put in work to attain that skill. You can’t pass opportunities just because you failed once or twice, remember positive affirmation; Risk – Is it Scarier taking a Risk or Not taking One? … If you are not good at something now, doesn’t mean you won’t get better at it in the future. A kid who is not good at math, doesn’t mean won’t be good later on in time if they have determination.

What you tell yourself is important! If you tell yourself that you won’t make it then you won’t! I believe you, because that’s what you believe. You are setting yourself for failure just by that negativity. But if you think positive, and say, okay well I failed this time but I will learn and get better then that will change things. You are as good as what you believe, so let’s get working!

The Judgemental losers…

They don’t exist in a large number! Yes, they are a few of these judgemental losers who would look at you and say, hmm why are you doing what you are doing! These people are only saying that since they can’t get themselves to pursue their own dreams and they have a lot of time on their hand. Stop worrying about these people! Most people don’t care! They have their own lives to worry about, their own dreams, aspiration, career goals and stress. They are more worried about how to start their day, that month end deadline at work, coming home and cooking dinner and spending time with their loved ones.

Set an example for these people, if they are judging, let them do it! Prove them wrong! You will be more appreciated for trying and trying then to sit back and live the same boring life as everyone else.

How to over come Self -Doubt…

  1. Fix your mindset – You got rejected? So is he, and so is she…we all have. But we don’t give up!
  2. Positive affirmation – You Are MORE than good enough!
  3. When you are feeling self doubt, unwind a bit! Give yourself time to relax and enjoy some quality time. This will give you some to get your thoughts aligned again.
  4. Evaluate why you are feeling self doubt – why do you feel you are not good enough and what can you do to become good?
  5. Write it down! Where is your Journal? Write down, why you are feeling self doubt and the positives steps you will be taking.
  6. Read Motivational articles – You need motivation and their are plenty of people who felt and been where you are. Read how they over came self doubt.
  7. You don’t have to do it alone! Find family and friends to talk about your self doubts. Most of the time we over evaluate and exaggerate the situation in our mind. Our loved ones can bring things back to perspective for us. Don’t worry, they will not judge you!

Remember, you are amazing…

Thank you,

DLA

 

Expectations in Relationships

Hello World,

We have all done it…

Why do we expect a great deal from our loved ones? Why do we expect them to just know what to do or say what we want we want to hear? And what if the roles were reversed? Maybe you always expect a birthday present from your parents. Maybe you expect your romantic partner to read your mind all the time. Maybe you expect your best friend to not be late or make you wait for an event. Yes, we have all done it. We all expected and became upset when our expectations were not met. But is if fair? We are missing a point when we put the “expectation” strain our loved ones.

Goal oriented expectations…

Expectations are good for goals and for us. If we are working towards achieving our goals we should always forecast for the outcome we expect. This will help us create plan A, B, and C to tackle any sort of obstacles we may come across; Adaptability – Your Biggest Competitive Advantage.  Having goal oriented expectations is a tool to prevent failure. For example, I know I am expected to complete a 30 minute abs workout every day to achieve the expected body type I want to achieve. If I fail to work out every day then my expectations are not met.

But when that expectation is on someone else…

You are putting in effort to achieve an expected result, is different from when you expect someone else to fulfil your goals. Having expectations on others  behavior is unfair. We forget that! We are good old emotional human beings after all. We are close to our friend, family and loved ones. We take their love for granted and think, hmm they love me so they must know me so well, therefore I expect them to know exactly what I am expecting from them! High expectations on your loved ones is another word for selfish and toxic. We completely forget that they have emotional and physical limitations. They have their own thinking and perceptions, they might not see a situation as eye to eye.

Some people just like taking and not giving. We are selfish because we expect our loved ones to not expect the same in return. We expect from them but become cold when they expect from us. Perhaps it’s because when the roles are reversed we have limitations too!

Roles Reversed…

Do you want to be dependant on your spouse 80% and expect them to fulfill your share of goals? While you put in 20% in the relationship. That is a pretty unhealthy relationship. First off, you are placing strain on your partner. Second, you are giving away your independence, (never become dependant on anyone!). Third, you telling me that you lack self-esteem and you need someone else to help carry your share of work.

A good relationship is when the partners are working on goals in parallel. They share feedback and are constantly motivating each other but they let each other keep their own identity. They let each other work on their own goals and success. And when the two bring their knowledge, and success together they become a complete power couple! These two are unstoppable!

Until next time…

Dla